Just This Once
by Moonchild10
Summary: BB reveals his feelings to Raven. She knows they can't be together, but she is determined to show him that their friendship is good enough. However, she may indulge in emotion...just this once.


Disclaimer: What's the point? I think everyone knows by now that someone who owned TT wouldn't be wasting their time putting their ideas into fanfiction. I own nothing.

Wee! Enjoy!

XXX

Breathing deeply, the violet-haired teenager closed her eyes and began to chant quietly.

"Azerath, Metrion, Zinthos."

She had been meditating for a few minutes when suddenly her world of silence was crashed down upon by a thud and an 'oof' from somewhere out of her view. She sighed and opened her eyes, floating to sit on the rooftop and turning around. Lying a few feet from her was a small green heap. Beast Boy. He lifted his head and looked at her, giving her a sheepish grin.

"Oops," he said, trying to conceal his embarrassment. "Guess you caught me, huh?"

"What are you doing up here?" Raven asked accusingly, watching as he picked himself up and sat.

"Wanting to talk to you," he said, fiddling with his glove.

"And why were you sneaking around?" Raven asked.

"I was…kinda nervous. Wasn't sure if I wanted to turn back or not. I tried, but…..you see, I sort of tripped on my shoelace. Sorry for the noise," he muttered apologetically. Raven just looked at him. "So can I….um….talk to you?" he asked, looking more self-conscious by the second. Raven shrugged and nodded. "OK. Well, the thing is…I've been wanting to tell you….something," he stammered.

Raven raised an eyebrow at him. "What is it, then?"

"Uh…if I tell you, do you promise not to hit me…or laugh?" he asked.

What could possibly be this hard for him?

"I promise," Raven said, starting to get a bit confused. Beast Boy smiled and scooted over to sit beside her, dangling his legs over the edge of the roof.

"I knew I could trust you, Rae. Well…the thing is….lately I've been kind of wondering if maybe I…sort of li-…" he paused to take a deep breath. "I think I love you."

Nothing, nothing in the entire world could have prepared Raven for those words. She was shocked beyond reason, jumping almost a foot in the air and across the bay an ATM machine went flying into the air and crashed back down as her powers went out of control for a moment. Raven quickly centered herself and regained her control, closing her eyes for a moment. When she opened them, the hopeful green eyes were still watching her.

"Raven? He asked. "Are you OK?"

She nodded quickly. "Did I hear you wrong, or did you just say you loved me?" she asked, eyes still wide with shock.

Blushing slightly, Beast Boy nodded. "Yeah. Kinda crazy, huh?"

Raven nodded faintly, staring wide-eyed at the water, glowing orange in the setting sun.

"Um, Rae?"

"Yes?"

"I was wondering if maybe you….kinda don't hate me for that or maybe you even….um…you know," he stumbled blindly over his words. Oh god. He was asking if she felt the same way. Raven was like a deer in headlights. She sighed.****

"Beast Boy…you know I can't…it's not that I don't…." she gathered herself and continued. "Beast Boy, you are incredible friend, and I really mean that. And it's not that I _don't_ feel…well, you know….attracted to you sometimes…but you know I can't….I can't risk….loving _anyone_."

His ears drooped. "Oh," he said. The sound of the single syllable seemed to linger, resonating in the air between them. The hope and apprehension had gone from his eyes and they looked hollow.****

Raven tried to fight the guilt that was working its way up into her stomach.

"Beast Boy….don't…don't take it that way," she said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"No….it's OK. I…I understand," he said, faking a smile terribly. "I know….the whole thing with your powers and…yeah." he was obviously miserable. "I kinda figured it would end up like this. I don't even know why I bothered telling you. It's probably hard having to be all emotionless all the time…and I probably just made it even worse."****

"Even though I can't…and won't….ever act on it….I do feel something there for you…something…unnatural for me. But it's there. You don't know how hard it is to ignore. It's not that I don't _want _to love you. I just can't," Raven said. Why did it have to be so hard? She could feel, to her surprise, a tear slip over her eyelashes and slide down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly, but she knew he saw it. It had been hard at times before to resist giving in to emotion and being consumed by it. But never this hard.

"Hey…."he said. "Don't- don't cry."

Raven nodded. "I'm being stupid, I know. I just…I _want_ to love you, BB. And I think I do. But I can't. And I know that."

"I think I understand. But isn't there…_some_ way that you could…" he trailed off.

Raven shook her head. "No, I really don't think there is. It's too dangerous. I can't risk the destruction I could cause if I-"

"But you don't know for sure, do you?" Beast Boy asked. "How do you know anything would happen? Has it happened before?"****

"No it hasn't. But love is a dangerous thing. Even if you don't have powers like these that cause damage like this-" she sighed helplessly. "Love is dangerous for anyone. But especially for me."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"I'm so sorry Beast Boy," said Raven, looking once more at the water, which was starting to fade from orange to pink. "I know I can't let it happen. But that doesn't mean that we can't have _anything._"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that you're one of the best friends I have ever had. And that's worth a lot more and is going to last longer than any 'love' ever could. I know we can't be together, but we'll always be friends."

Beast Boy grinned. "You're right. I'm sorry I had to bring this whole thing up in the first place."

"I'm glad you did. I guess I never would have realized how good a friend you are if you hadn't. I'm sorry I haven't always been exactly nice to you. Can we just….start over?"

"Sure," BB's smile widened. He held out his hand.****

Raven shook it, feeling a bit silly.

"Friends?"

"Friends."

"I'm still sorry that I can't…be what you want me to be," Raven said with a slight sigh.

"You already are what I want you to be," BB said, smiling at her. "I would never want you to change, even if it meant getting to be with you. I think you're perfect just the way you are ."****

Raven realized that he was still holding her hand, but did nothing to prevent it. She just looked at him.

"Um…Rae? Do you think that maybe just this once-"

"Alright," Raven answered nervously. "Just this once."

BB leaned forward cautiously and placed his lips lightly on hers. Struggling to keep control, she tentatively kissed him back. He wrapped his arms gently around the trembling girl, stroking her hair tenderly. Something felt natural about the way his lips fit onto hers, about the way his arms felt around her. Raven almost melted completely.

Raven could feel her control starting to slip, and reluctantly ended the kiss. BB grinned at her. And for a moment she wondered if maybe, just maybe she could allow herself to do this again…

No. She couldn't put the lives of he and her other friends in danger. No matter how much she wanted not to, she had to stay out of that kind of situation from now on, or face possibly deadly consequences. She was surprised that she had been stupid enough to let him kiss her even once.

"That was awesome," BB said sheepishly, releasing her. Raven nodded.

"Yes, it really was. But for safety's sake, I'm afraid you're going to have to be just friends from now on. It was completely selfish for me to have allowed that to happen in the first place," Raven said, sounding disgusted with herself.

"It's OK," BB said, shrugging. "You want to go inside? You could make some herbal tea and maybe we could hang out."

"Sure," Raven said, standing up. "Why not."****

BB nodded and turned around.

"Beast Boy?"

"Yeah?"

"Maybe someday I'll be free from this. And maybe someday I'll be able to be with you…and love you," Raven said.

BB nodded. "Maybe someday. I'll wait for however long that might take. And until then, I love you just the way you are."

XXX

Aww. One of those fuzzy feel-good endings. It makes me feel slightly nauseous. I'm sorry I made it so fluffy. I don't know why I did.


End file.
